Cranky/Animal Crossing Dialogue

First ever meeting

• "...!! What's with all the noise, <catchphrase>!? I don't like mornings, and I don't like morning people, so how's about you go away, hmm? Wait, I don't think we've met. Sorry for being rude, since you did come over here just to say hi, <catchphrase>. Let's just forget about it, <catchphrase>. I'm <name>. Maybe I'll see you around, <catchphrase>!"

• "Isn't it a little late for you to be running around alone? You should be home, enjoying a nice, quiet evening! Oops, I didn't mean to stick my nose in your business. My mistake...<catchphrase>! I always do that! I up and say something rude to someone I've only just met, <catchphrase>. Pretend it never happened! Maybe we can still be friends, <catchphrase>!"

• "...!! What exactly are you doing? Are you blabbing at me? Is this a poor attempt at comunication? Oh... Sorry. I'm a little off. I must be eating the wrong foods or something. Anyway's I'm <name>. Nice to meet you <catchphrase>!"

• "What, so you think you can just come up and start talking to me out of the blue? Well? Huh. You're <name>? Well that's just swell,and you only came here to say hi. <catchphrase> Well! That's downright neighborly of you! Everyone calls me <name>. Sorry if i sounded hotheaded. It's nice to meet you, <catchphrase>

Greetings

• "Why am I so tired in the mornings, <catchphrase>?"
• "I feel like a big bag of garbage in the morning, <catchphrase>!"
• "Well! If it isn't my neighbor, <player>! My, my! Loafing about as usual this afternoon, are we? Looks like it to me, <catchphrase>! Don't you have a job, <catchphrase>? You really should go get one."
• "Hrm! It's you again, huh, <catchphrase>?"
• "Hmm? <player>, huh. What is it, <catchphrase>?"
• "Huh? Is that you, <player>? What are you doing, <catchphrase>?"
• "Oh! <player>! Again! How...wonderful for me, <catchphrase>."
• "Hey, so it's you again, huh? It's the middle of the night, you know, <catchphrase>."
• "Hey! <player>. Are you still awake, <catchphrase>? Psycho."
• "Hey! I guess you're having some sleeping issues, huh, <catchphrase>?"
• "Hey, so it's you again, huh? It's the middle of the night, you know, <catchphrase>."
• "You again, huh? Don't you have anywhere else you could be, <player>?"
• "Don't pretend you're here because you like me. You just want to see how ticked off you can make me!"
• "(During rain) Hmm? Is that you, <player>? It's hard to see in all this rain, <catchphrase>."
• "(During rain) Hey! <player>! Stop smiling all the time! This isn't the right weather for smiles, <catchphrase>!"
• "(After a long time away) Shut up! Shut up! SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP! <player name>... I don't care in the slightest where you've been or what you've been doing! Don't you think it's a bit ridiculous to get nostalgic after just <timeframe>! Cripes, <catchphrase>!"
• "(After a long time away; late at night) Hey! You little dunce! It's fine to get nostalgic when you see someone for the first time in a while... ...But think about the trouble you're causing others! What time do you think it is, <catchphrase>? Well, let's just see... It's <current time>, you idiot! Use your noggin, <catchphrase>!"
  • (Followed by this) "So then, <catchphrase>... Why are you here?"
  • (Followed by this) "Yeah, so... What do you want, <catchphrase>?"
  • (Followed by this) "Hey, why are you even talking to me, <catchphrase>?"
    • (Player says no) "Heh... All right, <catchphrase>."
    • (Player says no) "Well, quit wasting my time, <catchphrase>!"
    • (Player says no) "Oh, whatever, <catchphrase>!"

Delivering furniture

• "Hold it right there! What do you think you're doing with my furniture, <player>? Huh? Speak into my good ear! Working? Give me a break! What kind of a... Oh. A mortgage? I understand. Let me tell you something... It's generally a good idea to have money before you buy something. That's the way the world works, you know. But...there's no shame in paying off your debts. That's honest, <catchphrase>. I've got to respect that! So I guess you haven't had a chance to get any of your basic house essentials, have you, <catchphrase>? So ask yourself: "Do I feel lucky?" Well? Do ya, <catchphrase>? You should! You get this <furniture piece>! No, no, take it! You need it more than me, <player>. Besides, we're going to be living in the same town... ...so, I figure it would be best if we started off on the right foot, <catchphrase>! Enough about that! Now that you have your own place, you'd better get busy decorating, don't you think? You know you can put furniture in your room and move it around, right? It's not rocket science. Just go in front of something, hold the A Button, and start pushing, pulling, and spinning it around. Anyone can do it! Of course, anyone can do it badly, too. You gotta arrange your furniture just right, or you'll get no respect! It's not enough to have a stylish setup, either. You've gotta be neat! Stow your clothes and stuff in dressers. Just face the drawers and press the A Button to open them. That's also how to cue the radio, <catchphrase>! You better spiff your place up if you want to impress folks around here—they're animals about interior decorating! Anyway, good luck with the job and all that. I hope everything works out, <catchphrase>! See you."

After bee sting

• "Oh! Is there a fashion show today I'm unaware of? That's some pretty wild makeup you got, <catchphrase>. Actually, you look kind of charming like that. You should dress your face up more often! What? Are you mad or something? Anything wrong? Oh, take a chill pill! I was just kidding! Try to take a joke! War har har har har har!"
• "Hey! <player>! What's the matter with your face? It looks slightly more offensive than usual. The bees got you, eh? Don't worry. I'm sure it'll be all better by morning. ...If you go to bed early, that is, <catchphrase>."
• "Whoa! You look hilarious! War har har har har har! I mean, thanks for the chuckle and everything, but aren't you embarrassed to be walking around like that? Listen, O master of the bees, you'd better turn around and go home so you can get some rest, <catchphrase>! Otherwise it might not heal right away, <catchphrase>."

• "What’s the matter? Why the long, swollen face? What are you, a crybaby? You can’t walk around looking so hangdog! Shape up! Get a grip on yourself! So what if the bees stung you? It happens. You gotta wear your scars with pride, <catchphrase>!"

Asking for work

• "You still trying to raise some money? Har! You're a real glutton for punishment. I guess I'll help you out. Take this <item> and deliver it quickly to <villager>. That's easy enough, right, <catchphrase>? I'm a real busy guy, see? I have neither the time nor any particular urge to return other animals' forgotten junk! But this kind of thing's right up your alley, yeah? Right, <player name>?"
• "Oh! Perfect! I was just looking for someone foolish-- uh, nice enough to help me out, <catchphrase>! Can you take these clothes over to <villager> for me? Huh? Why? You want to know why? That's on a "need to know" basis only, and you don't need to know! So, are you in or not?
• "Eh? All right! Listen up! I need you to get over to <villager>'s place, pronto! That's where you'll find a <item>. It's mine, of course. It's been "borrowed" for some time. I'm sure you know the type... "I'll bring it right back!" But two years later... Nada! Absolutely pathetic! The more I think about it, the more worked up I get! Anyway, while I squash my rage, can you get it for me?"
  • (Yes) "OK! That's all I have to say! Get a move on!"
  • (Yes) "Well, you've been officially asked, <catchphrase>."

No work

• "Let me think... Nah, I've got nothing that needs doing. Come back later, and maybe I'll think of something."
• "Nothing! I've got nothing! Nada! Zero! Zip! Zilch! Sorry, but try again later, <catchphrase>."

Conversations

• "(Crazy Redd coming) I guess Crazy Redd's bringing his business here again. Listen, you can't trust anything Redd tells you, OK? Trust your instincts! Don't let him pull the wool over your eyes!"
• "(During rain) Do you ever get the urge to just spin your umbrella around?"

Returning item

• "No doubt about it! That's my <item>. Thanks, <catchphrase>! You're a big help. Say, you write letters, don't you? Need some stationery? It sure would be nice if you wrote me or something... I guess I was wrong for thinking you were such a big dweeb. Keep up the good work!"

Picking up item

• "Here's <villager>'s <item>. I never should have kept it for so long. I'm bad. I'll send a letter apologizing to <villager>, but can you throw an extra "sorry" in for me when you return it? Bwaaaaaah! If you're going to do this, then get going! It's all you, <catchphrase>."
• "Oh, whoops! Are you going to take the <item> back to <villager>? Well then, here it is. I truly appreciate it, <catchphrase>. Bwaaaaaah! If you're going to do this, then get going! It's all you, <catchphrase>."
• "I knew I shouldn't have lent that <item> to <villager>. It figures I'd get flack for it. Sorry, but can you talk to <villager> about getting it back? I don't care enough to bother with it."

Angry

• "AAAGH! What's your problem?! Quit shoving!!!"
• "Hey, hey, hey! What's your damage?! Stop with the pushing already!"
• "What's the deal here?! Stop touching me! You're freaking me out!"
• "Darn it! You're doing that on purpose! Why do you keep pushing me around like that!?"
• "I've got no use for you. Come back when you're not so annoying!"
• "I'm so disappointed in you. You should think hard about what you've done!"
• "Dang it, <player>! Why are you wasting my time? Don't you know, I'm a busy guy!? Well, I don't wanna talk to you! So you can just dry up and blow away, <catchphrase>!"
• "Oh, stay away! Shoo! Shoo!"
• "Don't talk to me! In fact, go somewhere where I don't even have to look at you! Buzz off! Vamoose!"
• "WHOA! Just what the heck do you think you're doing?!"
• "Whoa there, buddy! You keep this up, and you'll be cruisin' for a bruisin'!"
• "OUCH! You picking a fight?! You've got a lotta nerve, kid!"

Talking too much

• "Shut up already!! And shut up with the shuttin' up!!! Listen here, 'cause I'm only gonna say this once! You're a pest! A brat! Now, go away, <catchphrase>!!"
• "Aaargh! You win! I give up! Please, stand around and annoy me some more!!! I love it! What, don't you understand sarcasm!? Buzz off! And don't come back!! <catchphrase>!!"
• "Get a life! Don't you get it? I'm sick of looking at your face! Go away! What don't you understand about "get lost!"? Sheesh, <catchphrase>!!"

Woken up in daytime

• "No... No... Get 'em off me... I don't like bugs... AHHH! Did I say something? Well, you'd better just forget whatever it was! And don't tell anyone, <catchphrase>!"
• "Zzz...zz... Ahh! I fell asleep again, huh? Thanks for wakin' me up! Bwa ha ha ha!"
• "Zzz... Zz... Ng... !! Wh-What are you doing here? Huh? Was I asleep? Oh, really? Thanks."

Woken up after bee sting

• "YEEEEK! A GHOST!!! NOOOO!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!! DON'T HURT ME!!! ...? <player>? ... You didn't hear that! I'm not scared! I didn't scream a thing! I swear it, <catchphrase>! I'm tough! You'd better not tell anybody about this, or you'll regret it, <catchphrase>!"